i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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