Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
