The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
