She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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