I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
