oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
