Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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