Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
