Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
