all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
