Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
