her vagine was all disorganized.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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