Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
