ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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