Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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