so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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