i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize