So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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