She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
