first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize