So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize