So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
