Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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