I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
