how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
