So drunk its hurt
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
