OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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