O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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