There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Randomize