my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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