they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
