PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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