I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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