At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We have so much sex to catch up on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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