honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
