Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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