Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
