We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
