he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
