Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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