youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
