we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
