Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
