do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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