i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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