Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
