My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
