problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
