it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there was a trapeze. enough said
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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