so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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