would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
