K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
