I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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