You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My penis needs a shock collar
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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