For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
