I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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