I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
