Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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