playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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