just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
